So I woke up this morning with a hangover and a man catcher.
I groaned loudly and promptly when back to sleep, of course. When I woke up again two hours later, I was sans headache, but the proof of my last night's craziness had not disappeared. Yes, the man catcher was real, and it was mine. The following is an account of the events which led me to this never-before-reached low, and a plea for help to stop the insanity:
The night started innocently (as these things often do) with Annie and me deciding to combat our boredom by hitting up the dollar theatre. National Treasure was our choice (how much trouble can one get in with a beer-belly wielding Nicholas Cage, I ask you?). However, it was sold out, so we settled on The Incredibles, but what was to be safe, fun, family-friendly entertainment quickly took a turn for the worst when a closer look at out tickets revealed them to be for the 10:15 show! As it was only 9:00, this made us somewhat perturbed. In more lucid moments, I have come to the conclusion that what next transpired could have easily been avoided by the presence of a partially competent male, and that is the most likely reason I have a giant butterfly net obstructing my access to my dresser drawers. (For if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear, etc.) What happened the next two hours is a story for another time and place, but suffice it to say that yes, there are pictures, and no, we're not going to show them to you.
(At least not until we ascertain just how much damage they will cause)
(Translation: they'll probably be posted as soon as we upload them and work out a story line)
(But there is a preview on our door if you’re interested…)
(I also want to insert an early disclaimer here anticipating that event. We didn't actually GO to Squaw Peak, so don't get any ideas!)
Anyway, after thoroughly exhausting ourselves, we swung by Macey's to pick up some sloppy-joe sauce for Break the Fast when what to my wondering eyes should appear in the "Sale" bin next to our checkout line but the answer to all my troubles. Happiness for 99 cents! I couldn't resist.
And so now I have a man catcher- scientifically formulated to measure the ego size of any prospective pray, making it easy to discard the undesirables, thus saving me a lot of time and energy.
Anyway, the real point of all this is unless you happen to like bamboo sticks, wire hangers, fish netting, or red electrical tape, delete “bored” from your vocabulary and get a life. And while you’re at it, help me!
Thank you and good-night.
p.s. I'm working on a petition for Provo-Orem stores to stay open later on the weekends, this being closed by 9:30 is not good for my Di-GESH-tion!