Wednesday, March 23, 2005

p.s. here is a "sneak peek" from the upcoming short film "Night of the Man Catcher"! Posted by Hello

Attention All Utahns...

...and anyone else with anything to say....

I am in a folklore class right now and I am doing my final project on Creative Dating (you know, the weird ways you asked/answered someone to a high school dance). So I am putting out an APB for any of you that want to respond to what you think are the "unspoken rules" for Creative Dating. Things like how you ask, how you answer, talking to each other between the asking and answering or before the dance, what if you have to say "no", etc., etc. Or what happened if you or someone you know ever BROKE the "unspoken rules" (gasp, faint, die)!

Also, if you have stories on how you asked or were answered, or pictures or whatever I would LOVE them! I am wondering if there are any "one-ups" like if you played off some aspect of the way someone asked you or vice versa.

If you don't want to blog it, you can email me at, or I can come interview you with Adriane's nifty mini tape recorder at your convenience.

Thanks a bunch!

Oh, and p.s. Does anyone know what APB means? I'm pretty sure I send them all the time at work and I have no idea what it stands for. Enlightenment would be greatly appreciated... :)

Sunday, March 20, 2005


What's bigger, better, and more fabulous than a crowd of celebrities outside the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood? The crowd of celebrities outside 3380 of the Wilk, of course! And last night was a dazzling display of style and “suave”-ness one cannot help but analyze and applaud.

Annie Jacob:
Following in the footsteps of fashion maven Audrey Hepburn, Annie sported a spanglified version of the little black dress, but this fashion-forward form didn't stop there, she proved that "black is the new pink is the new black" by throwing on an electrifying feather boa and sinfully smooth black party gloves. And the hair? Every Who down in Whoville has started to sing, baby!!

Maria Walen:
Proving once again that less is more, Maria blew away the competition in an casual Caribbean number that raised the room temperature at least 30 degrees. Maria accentuated the sans-sartorial scarf with brilliantly cut chandelier earrings and a hairstyle that would make Marie Antoinette sell the farm!

Adriane Blackham:
Prince Charming better be willing to step it up a little if he wants to keep up with this Cinderella. Whoever she is, Adriane's Fairy Godmother better start negotiating for a better contract! Talk about Ice, Ice Baby! But, this blue-clothed Belle glowed brighter than the diamonds strategically scattered about. The inspiration for Josh Groban was obvious with this walking Starry-Starry Night!

Meagan Brady:
Back-off PETA, this Prima donna proved that even fake can be fab in an amazingly realistic replica of a silver "faux". Meagan fellowed the fantastic fur with spectacular specs and a yummy, butter-yellow number that screamed “Spring!”

Erika Harker:
Bringing back the disco daze, Erika rocked out in a sequined sash and riotous ringlets. With a fabulous black top and trendy long-and-lean jeans, she proved to be a real mover and shaker. Looking at Erika makes us long for the REAL dance revolution. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" anyone?

Jena Peterson:
Jena was the picture of understated elegance in monochromatic black. From her splendidly simple short-sleeved sheathe to her sleek ponytail and classic make-up job, Jena brings to mind the glory days. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships? We think so.

Tiffany Gibson:
Bedazzling in a dress inspired by Midnight in the Wasatch Mountains, Tiffany delighted in a bodice of black-velvety-velvet and a swirling skirt of tempestuous taupe. She was nature personified in a beautiful Persephone.

Crystal Manning:
Crystal stayed close to her magnificent moniker by modeling an angelic amethyst number that set off her greenish eyes and reddish hair to perfection. With such invigorating Irish beauty about, it's no wonder the place was crawling with love-sick leprechauns.

And leprechauns there were galore! From the fully decked-out lad straight off the Lucky Charms box to the usually staid and serious Jon Harmon's Kelly green neckpiece (perhaps he found the pot of gold at the end of the Reading Rainbow?), the Luck of the Irish made a strong post St. Paddy's day comeback. Tell us Jon; could green be the new pink?

Sunday, March 13, 2005

The Man Catcher, Part 1

So I woke up this morning with a hangover and a man catcher.

I groaned loudly and promptly when back to sleep, of course. When I woke up again two hours later, I was sans headache, but the proof of my last night's craziness had not disappeared. Yes, the man catcher was real, and it was mine. The following is an account of the events which led me to this never-before-reached low, and a plea for help to stop the insanity:

The night started innocently (as these things often do) with Annie and me deciding to combat our boredom by hitting up the dollar theatre. National Treasure was our choice (how much trouble can one get in with a beer-belly wielding Nicholas Cage, I ask you?). However, it was sold out, so we settled on The Incredibles, but what was to be safe, fun, family-friendly entertainment quickly took a turn for the worst when a closer look at out tickets revealed them to be for the 10:15 show! As it was only 9:00, this made us somewhat perturbed. In more lucid moments, I have come to the conclusion that what next transpired could have easily been avoided by the presence of a partially competent male, and that is the most likely reason I have a giant butterfly net obstructing my access to my dresser drawers. (For if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear, etc.) What happened the next two hours is a story for another time and place, but suffice it to say that yes, there are pictures, and no, we're not going to show them to you.
(At least not until we ascertain just how much damage they will cause)
(Translation: they'll probably be posted as soon as we upload them and work out a story line)
(But there is a preview on our door if you’re interested…)
(I also want to insert an early disclaimer here anticipating that event. We didn't actually GO to Squaw Peak, so don't get any ideas!)

Anyway, after thoroughly exhausting ourselves, we swung by Macey's to pick up some sloppy-joe sauce for Break the Fast when what to my wondering eyes should appear in the "Sale" bin next to our checkout line but the answer to all my troubles. Happiness for 99 cents! I couldn't resist.

And so now I have a man catcher- scientifically formulated to measure the ego size of any prospective pray, making it easy to discard the undesirables, thus saving me a lot of time and energy.

Anyway, the real point of all this is unless you happen to like bamboo sticks, wire hangers, fish netting, or red electrical tape, delete “bored” from your vocabulary and get a life. And while you’re at it, help me!

Thank you and good-night.

p.s. I'm working on a petition for Provo-Orem stores to stay open later on the weekends, this being closed by 9:30 is not good for my Di-GESH-tion!

Friday, March 11, 2005

Ready, Set, Go!

After much deliberation and wracking-of-brains, here it very first blog! Sometimes being an English Major is so demanding, suddenly the simple task of picking an address is not so simple. Vocabulary must be combed, allusions considered, authors consulted and poets called in. But I am happy to say that it has begun--unintentional paradox included. You see, "perfect" isn't really perfect this time. Syzygy is awesome enough in its own respect that it needs no qualifiers, but someone else obviously recognized that and so it falls to me to attain that goal. And from me to you, dear reader! Syzygies in space have been known to happen on occasion (ever heard of Hercules), but in my life, they can be numbered at nearly one. In other words--NEVER! But that, of course, it the purpose of this blog--to reconcile the parts that constitute Me, Myself and I into one working individual. So read freely and comment often, I'm counting on you to play Freud to my John Nash! Have a nice day!