Friday, February 15, 2008

I have no words. That's ever happened to me before...

...Okay, so yes it has. Once or twice.

I have no voice. None. It's gone on vacation.

If I summon up enough gumption, two or three syllables claw their way up my throat. Ouch.

Of course, this is SOOO funny. especially given the fact that I subconsciously answer the phone at work if it rings more than once.

But don't worry. My friendly coworkers have been expressing their sympathies all morning.

It's not even noon and this is what I've gotten (through email of course. because if I'm mute, I must be deaf also, right?:

  • Some people are considered fools.
    Some people speak and remove all doubt.
  • "What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.
    "Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
    Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
    "No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
  • Doug goes to see his physician and says, "Doc, my wife recently lost her voice, what should I do to help her get it back?" The doctor says, "Just try coming home at three in the morning."
  • Q. What do you call a veterinarian with laryngitis?
    A. A hoarse doctor.
    Q: How did the pig who couldn't speak feel?
    A: Dis-gruntled.
    Q: What would you call Sir Lancelot if he lost his voice?
    A. Silent Night
  • 1: I think I'm feeling a little hoarse
    2: maybe you're getting a colt.
    3: I think I'll try some cough stirrup
  • A friend of mine joined a Trappist Monastery, where monks are not allowed to speak. They are allowed to say three words every five years.
    At the end of the first five years my friend stood up and said, “Need new shoes”
    At the end of the second five years he stood up and said, “Need new mattress”
    After fifteen years had passed he stood up and said, “I am quitting!”
    The Abbot said, “It’s probably for the best. You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
  • You can see all this, at the Mounted Animal Nature Trail:
    Where the dog goes:
    And the bear goes:
    And Meagan goes:
    (and so on)
I just have to keep writing to myself "I love my job... I love my job..."



Annegirl said...

Once my piano teacher lost her voice, and we were halfway through my lesson before she gently leaned over to me and said, "You don't have to whisper."

Adriane said...


I tried that in primary with my 5-year-olds. I just started whispering to them and soon they were all whispering back.

Meagan, I hope you got better really fast! Gregory has lost his voice too--he loves the funny noises he makes now.