Wednesday, September 21, 2005


Once, out of boredom-slash-curiosity, I read this article on Feng Shui.
Vortexes of Sha? Centers of Chi? Sounds perfect!

So did I move my desk 1.4 inches to the left? You betcha.
Invest in an assortment of divine aromatherapy candles? Check.
Get a plant to inspire my energy forces towards positive growth? Of course.
(Make sure it was fake so as not to incur negative energy when it thirsted to death? Duh)
Measure the straps of my backpack to ensure perfect symmetry? To the angstrom.
Drape myself in various strands of energy crystals? Er...

Ah. Crystal-Free-Quasi-Harmony.

After partaking of some Chi-flavored goodness, I decided to let you all know about my success. But when I logged onto my blog, I got a BIG Sha-zam.

You see, the whole point of Feng Shui is balance. Balance. Symmetry. Poise. Harmony.

So how the heck am I suppose keep my Chi in check with "Jon Harmon" sticking out like a sore thumb? Obviously something's got to change, but do I balance the cosmic equation by giving EVERYONE two names? Will "Annie Jacob" jive? Does "Adriane Blackham" float your boat? Although I will admit that "Bobbert Buhler" brings an alliteratory smile to my face, I just don't think that's gonna fly.

On the other hand, I just can't have "Jon." Jon? Jon who? For all I know it could be a misspelled Prince John (a valid concern given a series of strange comments on Maria’s blog.)

Thus the dilemma.

So now what do I do? Without my Chi, all I have is a plastic plant and a lifetime supply of smelly wax.

My groove is totally thrown off.


Jon said...

*sigh* I always seem to be the one that has to be "dealt with," don't I? Sorry for being the raspberry seed of aporia in your new-age wisdom tooth.

Jon said...

Did you know that there are lots of Johns and Jons that just go by their first name?

I know. I was flabbergasted too.

Adriane said...

I like having smart friends!!! On Monday I was trying to tell a man that he looked so forlorn. I finally had to tell him he looked just plain sad. Ah well.
I agree with Meagan. You can't be just Jon. I say, make it all one name: Jonharmon. Lol. Or Jarmon. That way, chi is centered, and Jon Harmon isn't just plain Jon.

AnneGirl said...

It's a good thing I'm a really old lady that no one would ever think of stalking now that my personal information has been audaciously published on a public domain.

AnneGirl said...

And ps, yeah for the lifetime supply of smelly wax! Plus I like Jarmon. And just Jon/Johns? I don't talk to people like that.

AnneGirl said...


Maria said...

forgo the alphabatizing (how important is it anyway??). list the names from least amount of letters to most, having Jon Harmon as the crux, and then decrease down to few again

Jon Harmon

hah. you have symmetry! ;)

Meagan said...

Maria, you're genius!

Jon said...

I really like that because it's like a chiasmus with ME as the focal point! I always suspected I was the center of Meagan's life.

Jon said...

And notice Maria's changing of Bobbert to "Bobbery." As in "3.25 for gas?! That's highway Bobbery!"

Sorry, Maria, it just made me laugh.

Erika said...

Now, I love Maria's way and all, but here's something that you may want to think about: it's all about horseshoe patterns. So maybe Jon Harmon should be at the bottom so the chi can continue to flow. I'm just thinking of your chi here.
And I'm sorry about your groove being thrown off. beware of the groove...

Maria said...

it was a typo! but, i laughed too. sorry Robert.

Jon said...

This is just getting better! Now there's TWICE as much me!

Wow, I like chi. Who knew?

AnneGirl said...

lol. "Bobbery." That does all sorts of good for my chi. :)

buhler said...

Thank you Maria. That is exactly what I was hoping for was another nickname. I also like how people mention that typo, but nobody notices that Meagan can't spell is in the last sentence of her blog?

Adriane said...

I thought you said you weren't mean in your comment, Bobbert. Bobbery is a whole lot cooler than other typos--no wonder we all noticed it!