Once, out of boredom-slash-curiosity, I read this article on Feng Shui.
Vortexes of Sha? Centers of Chi? Sounds perfect!
So did I move my desk 1.4 inches to the left? You betcha.
Invest in an assortment of divine aromatherapy candles? Check.
Get a plant to inspire my energy forces towards positive growth? Of course.
(Make sure it was fake so as not to incur negative energy when it thirsted to death? Duh)
Measure the straps of my backpack to ensure perfect symmetry? To the angstrom.
Drape myself in various strands of energy crystals? Er...
After partaking of some Chi-flavored goodness, I decided to let you all know about my success. But when I logged onto my blog, I got a BIG Sha-zam.
You see, the whole point of Feng Shui is balance. Balance. Symmetry. Poise. Harmony.
So how the heck am I suppose keep my Chi in check with "Jon Harmon" sticking out like a sore thumb? Obviously something's got to change, but do I balance the cosmic equation by giving EVERYONE two names? Will "Annie Jacob" jive? Does "Adriane Blackham" float your boat? Although I will admit that "Bobbert Buhler" brings an alliteratory smile to my face, I just don't think that's gonna fly.
On the other hand, I just can't have "Jon." Jon? Jon who? For all I know it could be a misspelled Prince John (a valid concern given a series of strange comments on Maria’s blog.)
Thus the dilemma.
So now what do I do? Without my Chi, all I have is a plastic plant and a lifetime supply of smelly wax.
My groove is totally thrown off.