You heard it here first. Or not.

So I was at the gym last night, watching a lot of TVs (plural) because:

a) I'm totally ADD and there are a LOT of TVs to look at.
b) The flashy colors distract me from the pain.
c) Closed captioning makes it possible to watch all nine shows at once.

So as my eyes bounced from screen to screen like twin pinballs, they were snagged by the action on one station that featured a man cowering in fear under the bathroom sink while a woman tried to pull him out. Now who wouldn't want to watch that?

The closed captioning went as follows:

-"You have to come out!"
-"No, the blue man will get me!"
-"Come on, Tracy. Get out from under there!"
-(Tracy makes sounds like Chewbacca.)

Chewbaccaish sounds. Right. Like that's helpful to a DEAF audience.

But who knows, maybe the old man on the treadmill next to me went deaf on May TWENTY-SIXTH 1977 and knew exactly what was going on...