i have this desire...

...and i need a distraction...

Okay, so we all know that advertising on websites is basically the worst invention ever. Who really needs a flashy new car, or matchmaking services, or a feasible weight-loss plan?

Okay, so most everyone.

But that is not the point.

The POINT is that the stupid banners crowd my space and distract my attention from more important things. Like did Katie Homes really even have a baby? I mean, there's couch-jumping and icky PDA and then nothing. It's like a BLACK HOLE AROUND THERE!!!!

Also not the point.

However, sometimes, in a very few instances, like Π instances (or pie instances) links can be useful.

Take my in-the-works website for example. The links there light up when you roll over them, allowing for hours of entertainment by scrolling

back........................................................................


........................and forth.................................................

.......and back..................................................

..................................................and forth.................................


.......................and back.........................................

....................................and so forth..........................

.....................................................................and i'm back.

V E R Y U S E F U L



Well today on my new google group page was the usefullest of all links:

"How to Create an Illusion"

woah.


Okay, so who doesn't need that information?


Okay, so most everyone.

....................................But that is not the point.


i needed that information!!!!


and now i have it.

Steps:

1. Prepare a number of everyday objects which have different variations or types.

2. Induce a sense of ease and familiarity in the audience. These are things they see every day, they are familiar with them and do not need to look closely.

3. Ask each person to chose one object specifically. They must concentrate on it to the exclusion of all else. Remember the details thoroughly. Possibly try and make a picture of it in their minds.
4. Take away the objects and arrange a distraction.***

5. Redisplay the objects but make sure each one is slightly different from everyone previously shown.

No one in the audience will be able to see the item they chose. Very few people will understand that this is because ALL the items changed.




sweet. double sweet even.











***only, what the heck!?!?!? "arrange a distraction"

got any steps for that?

a catalogue for mail-order stampeding animals perhaps?

power-outage in a bottle?

essence of some obscure amazonian root that causes temporary blindness?


I mean, this is kind of a necessary step, i can't just skip it or something...

.... hmm...the private number of the manager for the championship double dutch team...?




So..... any suggestions?



Click on the useful link here↓

And to think that I saw it on 800 North (in Provo)

Listen my children and you will hear,
Of what to my wondering eyes should have appeared,
Four score and seven years ago.

The time has passed for fast-paced horses,
So hanging Christmas-colored traffic lights should be obvious of courses.
It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

On my midnight rides in Orem town,
It's not chimneys I've seen explosions and fistfights going down.
It's lucky I did not not perish from the earth.

But Provo, wrapped in silence so deep and still,
Not a car was stirring, until,
It was discovered that not all roads are created equal.

SO...

On the 800 North traffic tower as a signal light,
It flashed away! flashed away! a turn other than right!
A fitting tribute to people who have thus far so nobly advanced.

it's times like these...

when you're flat on your back...



with your second box of kleenex...



sneezing an average of six times in a row...



because you're allergic to everything in Utah...



that you're really afraid that this is gonna happen sooner rather than later...

ouch.

Reason #437 why I LOVE the LC:

The STIMULATING conversation.

Meagan: Oh my gosh, I only have 37 credits left to take! I could be done in April!
Scott: Yeah, well I have about a million left. Right now I'm on the four-and-a-half-year plan.
Meagan: Hey, that's way good. I know people that are on the eight-leaning-towards-nine-year plan.
Scott: Yeah. They're called "Doctors."

meditation, or, the man catcher, part 3

see, my problem is not a lack of something to say, but rather a lack of knowing how to say everything that i do have to say. i really do have a million and a half half-finished blogs that i could work on--or i could even pull a jonharmon and sell them off as-is, but most of them are not as funny as they appeared at the time (barring the rocket story that is not for mixed company), or are just a little bit too personal for cyberspace. plus the thought of living in the past with an endless stream of study abroad experiences crowding out the spectacular summer i'm demanding is not that appealing. it came, it's leaving, i grew, and i loved it. so while i will probably cook up one big, messy, sentimental, mush in my FIVE HOUR layover in houston, i plan to purge my system after that, with the exception of a few situational-appropriate reminisces as required.

that being said, i do have one thing to say. suprisingly, i found a man-catcher:

even more surprising, it worked:

but perhaps the most surprising thing is that i let him go.
yep. and i feel great!

except for finals, so if i get buried as the semester winds down, good luck to y'all and i'll see you on the flipside!

p.s. if you knew that i wrote this entire blog in lower case not in a tribute to e.e. cummings, but to accentuate my frustration in being able to establish texas citizenship on my way home, extra chocolate for you!