zero (in)tolerance

In an embarrassing lack of syzygy, me, myself and my immune system are having a bit of a spat. While me and myself are strong supporters of health and wellness, my immune system finds that (in)tolerable. Because once you're in, you're in, right?

Right. In bed.

It started with an annoying little tickle in my throat three days into my trip to Cali, but when I woke up after a 7+ hour crash post-Thursday morning flight home with a 102 degree fever I figured I better get myself checked out.

And came home with a veritable pharmacy of drugs catered toward severe allergies, ear infections, and pneumonia.

For the second time this year.

So I have literally spent the last 4.5 days in bed with my left ear glued to a heating pad, and my right hand glued to my inhaler. It's sickening.

On the plus side, I read 5 books from the tower on my nightstand. And a diet of white grape juice, water, and the occasional packet of Lipton's noodle soup (the only things I can stomach with pneumonia) didn't hurt me on the scale at all either (8 lbs.).

In summation, the only thing of note in my life right now is a truly scary pallor due to zero percent sun.

But let me share a couple Cali pics from before I got sick:

I haven't had a birthday cake in literally years, but the hotel was kind enough to send me these cute and fabulously delicious mini cupcakes for my birthday. My favorite were the carrot and red velvet cakes.

I spent about 4 hours at Disneyland the whole time I was there, but at the end of the night, Disney hooked us up with some sweet VIP seating for the fireworks. They were awesome.

And the Onion never lets me down on my birthday...

Oh, plus there was an earthquake.

(wo)man catcher?

Poor girl never knew what hit her...

(Witnessed in Rock Canyon Park on 5/5/09.)

booked for bad behavior, i should be

Over Christmas break, the fam undertook the nearly overwhelming project of sorting out all our books. I’m not what our final count was, but I know the Excel document was running at 150+ pages of titles. Family projects = INSANITY.

But we finally (mostly) got it finished with 7-8 boxes of duplicates/cast offs left over that Lauren has been selling on Amazon.com.

One of her books was returned in the mail a couple days ago looking like this:

As you can see, it was plastered from top to bottom in Nutcracker and Native American art stamps (and thus obviously not insufficient in postage), so I was curious as to why it was returned.

You might not be able to read it, but the hand-written note in the lower corner says, “Refused. Must come direct from online bookstore or publisher.”

“That’s weird,” I thought. Then I took a closer look at the address. Santa Rita Jail. Suddenly that battered package seemed so sad. Some poor inmate was just trying to save a couple bucks on some reading material, but no such luck. I felt really bad.

Noticing that the corner was ripped, I peeked inside to see what he’d hoped to read. Harry Potter Book and the Goblet of Fire.


Wouldn’t it have been ironic if it was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban?

And this is why I am a terrible person.